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My own lifestory als author of un-imposed/Mijn eigen levensverhaal als auteur van un-imposed:
Als auteur van dit blog en oprichter van de Therapeutenlijst (New Age Psychiatry/Therapeutenlijst) deel ik mijn levensverhaal. Ik schreef mijn verhaal in het Engels omdat ik deze wereldwijd wil delen om zo het concept van New Age Psychiatry te verspreiden: Het betreft de reeks:
New Age Psychiatry – Series: (1) Bipolar Energy
In this first article of The New Age Psychiatry series I will discuss a different way of analyzing a feeling aberrant of the conventional way. The feeling was discovered over a lifelong trying to influence a condition called a mental disorder within myself and my family. In these articles I will disclose the purpose why certain people are experiencing memories and behaviors in a disordered way.
- My experience expertise
- Staying strong
- My story and experience expertise
When I stopped breathing I was nine years old, watching over and observing my parents for many years. Until I figured out how I was going to survive while helping them at the same time. If I knew then I could let go of the thought of helping them, I was going to be able to breathe again through my own existence. Instead everything started to disappear while my claircognizance started to grow unconsciously. Not knowing yet I was building up a high vibration in knowledge and wisdom within that frame of claircognizance. But I first had to learn how to break down a harsh depression that started to dominate my life with all of the disturbance I discovered within. While living beside two parents who were trying to survive depression, psychosis and manic episodes, it was me who had to take charge. Who else was going to otherwise? My mother felt alone and ashamed of the situation she couldn’t handle by herself, my father was delving deep in his state of mind trying to find a way out.
Although these experiences existed as a taboo for 11 years, which is way too long, they were definitely not there for nothing. They were there to feel what a mental condition is able to bring me in life and what it is really about. And I can tell now that it is much more than what it looks like. More than a suffering. More than a condition of victimization not willing to embrace it’s possibilities. What we see is unexpected behavior, but what we really see is the ignorance of our interpretation. The overwhelming action of high vibrating psychiatric energies not able to find a way out. But nothing could be further from the truth. There is a total awareness in every sick person (physical or mental), if we look further than the actual disturbance. Concerning myself I was pushed to find closure for myself and for the disturbances within and around me to be able to become aware of its origin; to examine the deep purpose of psychiatry. Without the presence of sufficient help within traditional psychiatry up until the age of 22, I never stopped questioning why psychiatry has become a science of research and fear instead of a science developing more sophisticated programs of healing. A science of service!
I figured out many years later throughout my research that many sophisticated programs of healing were already present in this lifetime on earth. I feel called to make that first step to bring alive these healing programs by placing things in to order so we can look at a more thoroughly examination of the mental ‘disorder’ in this new system of healing.
Which I call from now on ‘the actual healing of mental energies’! Or New Age Psychiatry.
As that is what they are, nothing more than energies waking up and breaking down again by influences that can be actually reset through a stimulation of the information to be found within our human cells.
2. Staying strong
Throughout these experiences I finally became courageous enough to open up about how I have healed myself by going in to depth about my own ‘bipolar-I disorder’. No more shame, no more fear! Sharing with the world my solutions of freedom. Out there in the world I felt for too long a system of collective control predicting me to be afraid. So where it really comes to in my vision on psychiatry today, is a condition nothing less than bodily messages searching for the tools in order to undo the pending content of information on a mental level. To be found to get read in a different way as we are used to. This can only happen if the entire soul feels welcome to exist in a healing treatment. Instead of a doctor prescribing a cure out of thought, we need to deep out intuitive research. Where body and soul are considered as one!
Was it simply the DNA from my family I was transmitted? Not entirely, those energies go far beyond anything! Far beyond knowledge traditional psychiatry is depleting. I am not saying I am against current treatments, I simply do think it is time to go on and leave the old treatment system to the point it isn’t covering the whole body and soul! As there are terrific scientists out there who are ready to be able to combine more than one side of research. So we will have to bring these two sciences together for the ultimate completion of healing mental energies! Since 2010 I started to have a thorough awareness that brought me deep insight about the human blueprint; the information kept inside of our energy cells each of us is carrying. And no, this time I will not be able to skip the spiritual aspect in that concept. It is impossible. We already evolved in to a new dimension where spiritual science and knowlegde is ready to be shared in any (non)psychiatric practice. Far away from any low vibrating experimental way of approach existing out there. The only intelligence in wisdom of the human kind is to sacrifice the curtain of ego by dropping it completely! And I do trust this process is coming about! We cannot sit there anymore as a medical healer ignoring there isn’t a spiritual factor within psychoses e.g. But it is a challenge to understand the ‘disorder’ in a different approach reaching out by a very refined way of energy healing treatments. I hope to present subsequent study cases out of energy healing practices, to start with my own healing process I’m walking. As I believe I will have to walk my talk. And we all do walk a healing path, whether you need medical care or not, planet earth is our source of healing for every one of us who is living on it right now. We can never tell at any point we have completed our lessons of learning, unless we feel we are ascending more rapidly. Therefore I started out with the idea of a Therapists-list in dutch to locate all of the healers aspects in traditional psychiatry and New Age Psychiatry(as I called it). To start with in the Netherlands(New Age Psychiatry/Therapeutenlijst)
Around the age of 40 in 2013 I finally found the right amount of completion in myself to be able to understand the deeper meaning of mental energies within the human body and outside of it. While growing up the way I did I was reinforced with a teacher’s mentality created inside of me, supported by my claircognizance as I mentioned before. Retrieving the claircognizance along the way, I was trying hard to operate with the world while growing up. But the world wasn’t certainly ready to listen to me at the age of 9 or any time older while dissident. I was a mess back from 9 years old until when I turned 25, too weak to interact with all the information in a proper way. I really had to overcome the lessons that were in it for me at first! Though when I was 9 years old back in 1982, it was a time where ego was leading more than anything in our world. It all started to mix and blend inside of me for I was able to express myself many years later working on the ascent of my life purpose wanting to grow beyond understanding, but to ‘feel’ what was going on inside of me and in the world. So I remained sitting back for many years turned within my inner world figuring out how life was supposed to be lived! Placed at a true philosopher’s corner in my house writing and agonizing my head.
But I knew for sure I didn’t want to behave like a victim, I only felt very lonely. Loneliness that led to that depression for 28 years. As I was dealing with depression from a very young age. To many years if you’ve asked me now. But being in that condition I slowly was reaching for the things that I couldn’t see. And I took it far. And this is not the only way to alight consciousness, there are many ways leading to your inner well. All my family members were absent to hold on to, family life was a bit too weird and crazy for people to be able to open their heart’s wide enough so I could find a way out during childhood. But I wasn’t supposed to, I obvious needed this experience to heal and to grow. I forgave my parents and everyone else of my family. Each and every one of them: family far away oversees and close by. I knew(claircognizant) to retrieve the information in the following order: ”You don’t forget what you can’t remember!” All the information I needed was well kept in my cells, as that’s the way it goes! One day at a time towards my future life purpose! A time I independently could gather all of my learnings to share with you. And that day has yet become!
Apparently I wasn’t supposed to be found, I was supposed to get strong.
Instead I had to learn how to breathe again! Starting out with depression to end with mania and manic-psychotic episodes. But I have concurred them and dismantled them. The day I changed my old believes of healing into being able to control the energy within my body(what bipolarity is all about), I was able to finally transform my situation for the first time into a healing process. A process I didn’t share yet with psychiatry for the simple reason it was impossible to make myself clear enough about my awareness. I am still kept as a unfinished case of the DSM-5 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5).
Up until now there wasn’t the chance for it, but I do believe I will be able to share my vision and expertise as a experience expert to many psychiaters. It would be a regrettable cause I we wouldn’t be able to share all of the knowledge there is, so we will need the co-operate between New Age Psychiatry and the conventional way. My medicines are partly still needed until I can go entirely on my own strength. Which is inside of me and which I got to know very well! Right now I am working on releasing step by step all of the unnecessary energies holding me back to live my life to the full expansion. The last 4 years I have released a big deal of the unwanted debris through energy healing; depression has been decreased 90% over the last 4 years. And I am naturally holding back any manic or psychotic behavior. In great dedication I worked hard together with the psychological help an energetic healer could offer me. I can’t wait to share with you this process in detail.
So it took a lifetime of 40 years before I could start breathing slowly by myself again. One of the symptoms on a physical level I experienced in my case among other things were hyperventilation for a long time. This was exposing as a clear mirror of my true situation: not having enough space to breath. Such an obvious reaction of my body. But back then I didn’t know about those signals and their meaning so I was given medicines to try out a diagnosis. And there is nothing to be tried out if we combined those 2 sciences of healing. From 2010 I started to do energy healing and started to see an extra dimension about what the bipolar-I disorder(there is a bipolar-II version aswell) was about. That was the moment I started to be ready for the world again after 28 years of pain. It took a long time to wait for the world to be ready for me, I say so. You can image at the same time the world has been a huge illusion to me, even still at the age of 18 when my stable husband walked in to my life. And yes, I was the one letting depression into my life, nobody else did. But I wasn’t going to except it no more as a part of me. And to make it clear, if you are a child dealing with depression or any other mental behavior you were not responsible to let in the pain alone, your educators were supposed to guide at that time of your life.
Only my husband could figure me out in a proper way, more than I was able to do myself. Bit by bit I could start to find myself as he was able to give me back the basic trust that was lost within me. My husband walked in alone as well, his family wasn’t determined to find any understanding towards our lives . There was no interest at all, and there is still none. And they aren’t supposed to. But didn’t I get used to this loneliness? No, you hardly can’t when it happens to early in your life, not at this degree of loneliness I was feeling. It resulted in the fact that I couldn’t be too long around my Belgian compatriots after all, but I did get healed on that level. Avoiding the general mentality of unpredictability in communication in my home country was a tough one to learn let alone to understand. It is a country I had to learn of, not to live in. So God gave me The Netherlands. And I am immensely grateful for that miracle. That is exactly what it is! A miracle.
When your inner child is wounded during early childhood wanting just a little glimpse of love by confirming it was going to be lovable, is a deep wound to heal. Finding this motherly or fatherly voice telling who it was didn’t happen for me by walking the conventional way of medical help, but what did happen was that I could stop believing in its illusion at the end. I started to believe in myself. I got blessed when my husband mirrored that part in me during the times I was so lost. The drama I lived at my parent’s house at the time started to flow very gradually out of my system as he was there for me. His soul was very independent and quite healed in peace and harmony, as there was little karma to be solved yet to find within his soul. I was blessed. Truly blessed being absent of feeling at the time in my state of being. I did have to reinvent myself. Again and again until I could trust!! And I could start doing that from the age of 18 , even though I had a hard time to trust anyone. I didn’t get the help I was seeking in psychiatry further than that of medicines. It is since 2013 I am handling the former pain of bipolar energy in a totally different way. As it isn’t what we think it is! That’s why I call it ‘the former pain’. It is important here to start remembering a total different intention of mental energy. An energy that I analyzed from a whole different point of view. Nothing to do with traditional psychiatry and yet we need it’s scientific research to be able to complete every one of us in mental pain.
A fine healing process is tremendously important to be found, as everybody can heal as severe as your condition might be!! Any unhealthy situation can be healed if you yourself are dedicated to do so!! No doctor will! So if you don’t ‘feel’ yourself and you might not know yourself any more… still than I would say… as I did being alone: ‘Never give up on yourself, it is all there. Not wanting to be here is an ego-based feeling that is a truly false input. It is coming from the effects of the past (or karma) that has nothing to do with you’.
Looking forward to share part 2 of this first series. Your are not alone!! My story is yours now to hold on to now I opened up and published it!
Have an energized day everyone!